Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Ok, today, I just happened to see Martin walking past my mom's class room window and I was watching him. Lisi, sees me watching him and she goes and tells him. And then his friend Jose, goes, "Dude, man, ur being stalked!" I was soooooooooo utterly embarrased!! Gods I hate Lisi!!!
Posted at 01:43 am by unicornpools
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Posted at 05:51 pm by unicornpools
Well, nothing happening today. Just bored out of my fucking MIND!! I know who likes Blake and I will never tell him! Sometimes, I can be so evil!!
hehe. Isn't that cool! I found it on a website. OMIGOD!! My mom is sooo mad because I have a "B" in history! How bull shit is that?!?!? God she is annoying! That woman never gives up! She is always bugging me! Sometimes I just want to strangle her!!! Well gotta go! Kisses! ttfn!!
Posted at 03:35 pm by unicornpools
Monday, September 15, 2003
6 hours and whole lotta SHIT!!
School was a drag today! Math was boring, science was boring, spanish was boring...etc.etc. Today at lunch I sat alone *in a weird kind of way* almost being sufficated be some African American with a HUMONGOUS butt. I have totally stopped eating for some reason. Lost my appetite I guess.No one talked to me today 'cept Wendy. Oi! Today I said "damnit!" and Ms. Zeicheck goes, "Oh my gosh Nicole!" and I am thinking 'shit!shit!shit!shit!shit!shit! why?why?why?why?SHIT!!' and then Ms Ziecheck says, "Your backpack is so heavy! Oh my gosh, you shouldn't carry that around!" And I let out a breathe I didn't even know I was holding. And today, I accidentaly hit my self in the face with my locker door, and I go, "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!" like that and I say that all the time at my locker and Tommy Fritz *locker right next to me* says, "From now on, I am going to call you Shit Girl!" So, he is in my group in science, and he was calling me Shit Girl the whole time. I was getting annoyed and Alyssa whspers to me, "touch his hair." *God forbid* so I did and he was like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOO!! Now I hafta wash it!" Alyssa and I were like, "Gross!" I just noticed I sound like a valley girl when I talk about conversations with people, but I ma not a valley girl, trust me! TTFN!!
Posted at 08:16 pm by unicornpools
Saturday, September 13, 2003
I am spending the night at my cousin's house today. Maybe I'll feel a little better. My cousin says she is going to hide all the knives. She says that she loves my poems and now I am officially an artist! AWSOME!! Right? W/e. Well gotta go! ttfn!
Posted at 09:56 pm by unicornpools
I did all these little quiz-a-magiggies today to brighten my mood.
You are Persephone, the goddess of springtime,
Earth's fertility, but also the goddess of
darkness and intuition. You are creative, and
can always see past the surface. Although you
are moody and sometimes a bit grumpy, you are
really worth getting to know, but sometimes people just don't bother.
The Goddess Inside you!
brought to you by Quizilla
Goddess of Water. You can be quite emotional at
times, but are intelligent. You are at home in
You are Miyu, the true dark element goddess.
Silence yet depression floats around you. You
control darkness... and it seems like darkness
controls you...What happened? You once were
happy soul. Something deep must've happened.
But hey pain is power? o_o
Goddess of the Sky
You are the Goddess of the Moon! Being the Daughter
of Darkness you, like your mother, have a very
bad reputation.Though you are kind and caring
you are very distant. In fact the only person
you seemingly ever talk to is your mother! But
do not be discouraged. Your mother isn't
embaressing, in fact she is a teenager like
you. Shocking, huh?
Posted at 08:31 pm by unicornpools
I just apologized to my friends through email. I guess my last words to them exactly. I know they won't forgive me but there is still hope....right? I know I type in here like every 5 seconds, but I am so depressed, I can never seem to remeber to type all my thoughts. I haven't eaten since yesterday. Maybe I should become belimic aor anorexic instead of suicidal. It will take a while for people to notice and I won't be so scared.
Killing Me Softly
by Nicole Dominguez
I am falling
In this bottomless pit of
If I listen hard enough
I can hear it.
I can hear my heart,
If I wish hard enough,
I can will it.
I can will the pain,
Slowly soothing my soul
But no matter how hard I try,
I can't do it.
I can't forget everything we shared,
I can't forget all the bad times and good,
I can't forget that there was once a time,
When you actually cared.
So now I try harder,
And the pain comes smoother,
Stealing a scream from my throat,
And killing me softly.
Posted at 07:46 pm by unicornpools
I am thinking about telling my parents. About my problem. Not my problem with friends, but always wanting to commit suicide. Maybe if they send to me to a phycologist weekly or something, I can fix my problems, but still my heart is breaking away. It helped a lot when "3" on the tag board said what he/she said. I am glad that strangers *do I know you 3?* care about other people in that kind of way. It comforts me and tells me that maybe, I can move on and find other friends. I still have not heard from those two...and you know what? I am kind of glad. If they would have called today I would have broken down crying and totally lost it. Well, gotta jet. Once again thanx "3"!
Posted at 07:06 pm by unicornpools
"There are forever so many things you wanna hold onto. But if you think abt it, the more you hold tightly onto, the more pain you will feel...At times, it is better to let go. Of which you will feel much better..."
Isn't that just perfect for me??
Maybe I should just let go.
I can't! I will not!
I am so lost!
Posted at 03:30 pm by unicornpools
Still haven't heard from Forte or Frosty. I think this time it is the end. I think it is the last straw. It's all faded away, and it gets me no where. This is our first fight with just the three of us and now it is over. Totally over. Gone. Just like that. The thing is, maybe they can move on like that, but I can't. I'll never be able to be as strong as them. I can't lock up all my feelings, it doesn't work that way for me. They don't understand that I need them. I need them so I can live and breathe. But now...now, I have to live and breathe on my own, and I can't do that. Maybe just one cut on the thigh will take all my pain away. Maybe two cuts one for each of the. Then I can live. Maybe. I have problems, I know, but them hating me isn't helping. I have to friends to turn toward to. None. I am falling in this bottomless pit of lonliness. I am lost ina world where friendship doesn't seem to be an option. The only thing that keeps me company are my books. But I only have so long, before I have read them all. Then what do I do. Sit and wait for them to come back, slowly losing my sanity. Well gotta go.
by Nicole Dominguez (Iggy)
She sits by the phone
She knows the phone won't ring
She grabs a knife
Runs it across her smooth
Turning it a crimson red
She laughs in pain
Thinking all her worries have gone away
She sits by the phone
For her friends to call
She strikes her other thigh with the knife
One for each friend
She sits by the phone
Slowly wilting away
Slowly losing time as her blood runs free
Slowly losing her sanity
She sits by the phone
This time it rings
But this time,
It's to late.
Posted at 03:21 pm by unicornpools